Document transcript

FEDERAL BUREAU OF CONTROL

HOW TO HANDLE UNSCHEDULED VISITORS ENTERING THE LOBBY

Start with the following:

“Welcome to the Federal Bureau of Control, established in 1964 as part of an effort to strengthen government relations. We are proud to serve the United States and her people as we strive for transparency and excellence in all aspects of our esteemed nation’s infrastructure.”

If they do not leave, then ask them these questions:

1. Are you here to see someone?

2. Are you from New York City or just visiting?

3, How'd you find this place?

If their answers are sufficiently harmless, explain that this is a secure federal office and that they'll need to leave.

If their answers seem [REDACTED] escort them to a private room. There, perform the Gunnars Psychological Assessment. If their responses are within the acceptable range of deviance (see the provided scoring sheet) then [REDACTED] immediately.

Remember: There's no such thing as too suspicious!